I like leftovers. I like left over things that people disregard. Things people left behind because they think that they are no good. I always thought those things have a lot of potential to be beautiful and funny and useful and interesting.

Leftover food is my favorite kind of food. I love going over to people’s houses and just eat their leftovers. There’s a certain taste of nostalgia to leftover food.

Sometimes I would call my friends when I’m hungry and just ask them if they have any leftovers that they are about to throw away so I can go over and clean up for them. Sometimes I would leave the trash or apple core on the table and not clean up after I eat because I figured it would be polite to leave something behind as a way of returning the favor. But most people get really pissed off and never invite me over for left overs again and I would get really sad.

Sometimes I would go to a really fancy and expensive restaurant and eat dinner with a group of friends, and I would go home and put the leftovers in the fridge and heat it up with microwave and eat it by myself the following day or week depending on my mood. I would sit there and reminisce or reflect back on the good meal and the laughters I had with my friends the night before when the food was still fresh off of the oven. I would sit there and laugh out loud by myself while I eat and my mom would come downstairs and call me retarded and I would laugh even louder.

I think I will open up another restaurant in the middle of a plaza where there are a lot of big and good restaurants and just collect left over foods from them and recycle 70 dollar steak that people who are too rich but too skinny to finish.

Leftover love is good love. Leftover pussies are the sweetest pussies. I’m usually not into girls who everybody wants because there are just too many people that I have to compete with, and I don’t handle that type of pressure very well. I went out with this girl who was somebody else’s leftover. Because her boyfriend didn’t want her, it made me want to like her more. She was sad and hurt and I liked everything about her that hurts. People always have problems with being somebody else’s “rebound”. I rebounds are great. Besides, it’s easier to manipulate somebody who is vulnerable because usually people lower their standards when they are at that state. So it’s easier to sleep with a girl who just got thrown away.

When I am the captain during pick-up basketball games at the health club,I always pick people who are most likely to never get picked if somebody else was the captain. Sometimes people on my team give me dirty looks when I pick up fat people who they would leave behind. I guess they don’t see how leftovers can be so funny.

When I’m listening to the radio or watching a movie, I think of all the out takes or all the bad tracks that people throw away. I don’t collect anything. But I would love it if I could go to all the recording studios and editing rooms in Hollywood with a really big trashcan and just pick up and put all the embarrassing out-take clips and bad recording tracks where all the superstars sing out of tune or forget their lines and just watch and listen to them over and over again. Perfection makes me nervous. When something is too perfect it’s too mechanic and boring. That’s why i prefer live recordings over studio recordings. Songs on the radio or on a CD are just too perfect and, especially nowadays you can manipulate and edit people’s voices on the computer and make them sing over 100 times until they get it right. Anyone can sound good if you do it that way.

Leftover places are great too. I remember one time I drove to Ocean City by myself in middle of February. Usually I go there in the summer because that’s the time where everyone wants to go, and it gets so crowded that you can’t really see the ocean and the sand through all those bodies and you always have to compete for space and time. But nobody goes to Ocean City during February. It was raining on that day too when I went, so I got the entire boardwalk all by myself. I stripped naked and ran on the shore and swam in the ocean. It was pretty cold though, so my dick got really small. But it didn’t matter because the other person who saw me was this 70 year old lady.

I’m not saying popular taste is bad and what most people disregard is bad. I just think that it’s more interesting and funny if you can take something people left behind and make it worthwhile and good, then you aren’t wasting as much stuff or time or memory or space or thought as you would otherwise.

My perfect day would be to take a girl who just got dumped by her boyfriend out to an abandoned building and eat left over dinner with her