The BBQ Dilemma

So my mom said that since there are too many people who said they are coming to my bbq, I should either cancel it, or eliminate the number of guests by more than three quarters. What a dilemma to be in, but here is the solution me and Billy came up with.

What we can do is divide the guests into groups based on alphabetical order by last names, and assign each group a specific time slot.

Guests with last names A to F would come at 12 : 00 pm and leave at 3 pm. Guests with names G to L would come at 3 pm but must leave by 6 pm, and so forth. Simple enough.

But here is the fun part. What you do is you set up a camera and record everything that’s happening at the party. Video tape people drinking, eating chicken, fighting, smoking weed, making out etc. People can look into the camera and drink to, give shout outs to, or even hook up with (it would be like webcam sex but on a huge monitor) people from other groups who are coming later in the near future. (If you know a hot girl you like who is coming later, just give her a shout out, pull your cock out and jerk off to the camera). And then you set up a super large movie projector, which should be large enough so people in the video can appear life sized, and replay the recorded footage in the backyard when the next group of guests comes. People can also leave things behind so people from the future can use it, like leaving a beer or a cheeseburger on the table before they leave the party.

When the next group arrives to the bbq, they can just watch what went on on during the first 3 hours of the party on the big screen and waive “Hello” and “Byebye” back, drink to, eat with and even have cyber sex with the people from the past who were there occupying the exact same space with them at an earlier time.

The trick is to keep recording everything that has been happening so far so guests from the third group can see everything that had happened so far since the beginning of the party. The guests from the third group would be watching the video of the second group, but they should also be able to see what the people from the first group did from the screen that’s within the screen they are currently watching. They can drink and “interact” with the people from the first two groups who were there in the past and also with the people from the up coming groups who are going to be there in the future.

By the end of the day, people should be watching a space within a space within a space, in a time within time within time, with people within people within people, on a screen within a screen within a screen.

To make sure that nobody misses out on anything important, what you can do then is burn some DVDs and give it out to every single person who went to the party, or you can upload the video on facebook or youtube so everyone, even people who weren’t invited can gossip and talk about who was there and who hooked up with who etc. without any problems or difficulty understanding each other, since everyone was there, all within the same space, eating the same food, just at a different time.

Television monitors and movie projector screens can really shift images and viewers’ perception of reality across both time and space. And In a culture where mass media, television and internet has penetrated to its core so that the very boundaries between “real life”, make-believe, the actual and virtual, and anything in between have become blurred and indecipherable, I think it is reasonable to carry out such an experiment, however ridiculous it might sound.

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