What YOU Can Do To End Starvation

this note is highly offensive and disturbing, if you find my other stuff hard to stomach, please turn back. Sorry if i tagged you, it doens’t mean that you’re fat, but chances are you know someone who is. Whatever the case may be, the world needs your help

Hunger and malnutrition are threatening the lives of an estimated 11 million people in Africa. People are on the brink of starvation due to recent droughts and the devastating effects of past and ongoing conflicts. There is not nearly enough food to meet the need.

America, on the other hand is leading the world in untapped energy sources. At about 3,500 calories to the pound and almost impossible to get rid of, FAT is a resource some of us carry exessively around our bellies that goes unused.

It’s time for people in rich countries like the United States to lend a helping hand and end global famine by bringing life-saving food to starving people in developing countries.

Yes, obese Americans are taking in more than their share of resources while letting poor kids in Africa “queuing up to die three to a bed, two on top and one underneath”.

There are several solutions for this problem, but the general idea is the same and it’s simple: Feed the fat to the poor.

If fat people can find a way to extract donate their fats and flesh to developing countries like Africa and parts of India and China, it would benefit both the rich and the poor, the fat and the skinny.

Like any other organs, white adipose (fat cells), could be transferred, you just need to have immunosuppressant for the tissues to be used and taken in. There should be a law that requires fat people to go to the liposuction clinic every month and have their fat sucked up; it’d be like paying taxes. These fats would then be transferred to Africa as nutrients, and have the spares be made into soap for hygiene.

Now, I know what you’re thinking: they still aren’t getting their proteins. So I think a better solution is to have their fat along with their flesh and meat.

I put fat people under the four categories :

1. Modestly Obese.
2. Very Osese.
3. MorbidlyObese.
4. Obese and Convicted.
5. Obese and Dead

Each category should receive slightly different treatments.

The Modestly Obese should take their own butcher knife, skin themselves, and trim up small regions of their own flesh to have it prepared, packaged, and shipped. Since they are the “skinniest of the fat”, they have less to offer and have a “smaller” sin, therefore they are given the benefit to extract the flesh themselves and trim off regions they seem most fit (or fat). But If they aren’t willing to do it themselves and maybe gain a moment of decency for their lives…well, we’d just have to do it for them.

After reaching a certain body fat level, say 44.434 percent, the Very Obese people should be captured and tied onto a butcher’s table, where the best butchers in town would come in and make their cuts. The meat could be manufactured into products such as sausages, pies, stir-fries, nuggets, or be preserved as jerky or seal it up like tuna cans.

The Morbidly Obese , people with 68.23 percent body fat or higher should just be treated like livestock, since they have exceeded the body fat requirement to be categorized and qualified as homo sapien sapiens. These people have more to offer, so it is required that they do so. The law should call for complete amputation, where an entire thigh could be extracted and made into delicious dark meat human drumstick that could at least feed a family of five.

Here’s a strangely disturbing trivia: Did you know that we are running out of graveyard spaces to bury the dead due to over population and the fact that we eat so much preservatives that our bodies could no longer decompose?

Again, to kill two birds with one stone and solve a major problem for both the rich and the poor, what we could do is that instead of burying the Obese and Dead people and taking up even more space in our ecosystem, we should just ship and donate the cadavers to developing countries.

What better ways to get rid of dead bodies than to feed it to the hungry?

They won’t even need to be skinned or cut up, simply wrapped up the carcasses and deliver them as a whole to starving families. Can you imagine how many stomachs a 350 pound dead white guy can fill?

Now, I watch the Discovery Food channel a lot, and I noticed that people would eat anything. For example, Japanese people eat what they call “live sashimi”, or “extreme sashimi”, where they dip the fish or squids in soy sauce and wasabi and eat it while they are still alive and breathing.

After all the traumas they have to live through, people in Africa are probably just as crazy, so why not have “extreme cannibalism”?

The Obese Convicts , who on top of being fat, also happened to commit other crimes should be the resources of “extreme cannibalisms”. Instead of gas chambers, lethal injections and all that painless and romanticized crap, they should be brought to Africa to be eaten while they are still alive.

It would be the most glamorous and constructive capital punishment known to mankind. They would be pinned down onto dinner tables that are large enough to sustain them with their arms and legs tied and their mouths taped shut while starving men and children from Africa or India circle around them in a circle and trim or bite off their flesh piece by piece, scoop up their brains with a spoon while they beg to God for mercy. They could even drink their bloods for refreshment and chew on their testes for desert.

It would make a beautiful scene that deserves a National Geography cover. Who wouldn’t want to watch rich fat white guys getting eaten by starving black kids?

This is globalization at it’s best; poor and rich countries, fat and skinny, black and white people (black people aren’t fat even if they are) uniting together, resolving confrontations and remaking the world. It could be the ultimate resolution to the interwoven political, environmental, social and economic problems that challenge the world’s poorest and richest countries today.

We are making everyone heathier and ultimately, happier by curing the obese while feeding the poor , and

So if you are fat, or know any fat people, whipe the dust off of those good old buck knives and be ready to get fat people off of the streets, while saving the lives of countless children.

fat_guy

starving_child-sudan2

A white man sitting in a confined space bearing layers of excess fat while an African child starves down to the very last bones in the wild. There isn’t anything I can think of that is more contrasting. No wonder there are inequalities in the world.

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