Save the World with Poop ( Say No To Toilets )

School teachers, parents and caretakers often delay or prevent children from eliminating bodily waste. The denial of children and student’ access to rest rooms can have serious, long-lasting physical and psychological consequences. For people of all ages, forced rentention of body waste not only arries serious health risks, but constitutes a violation of a fundamental human rights.

On top of that, Freudians believe that a small child may be afraid of falling down the toilet during toilet training. This intrinsic fear may very well follow him into adulthood and transform itself into the fear of being sucked down into a terrifying void, being abandoned and alone. We feel as if we are losing a part of ourselves, and that nobody cares or understands, whose bodily products are not valued .

So you see, toilets and toilet training scare and mess up little kids and they make us depended, depressed and lonely. So I hate toilets. I don’t like going to the bathroom, wiping my ass and flushing the toilets because I hate seeing my poop and pee being suck down into the dark netherworld.

Not to mention that toilets are hard and impossible to keep clean, and most of them are poorly designed so that you piss all over the seats and get bitched at by mom, plus they overflow everytime you dump in more than 2 sheets of paper towels.

I was thinking about designing a toilet that won’t give me any of the problems I mentioned for my next sculpture project, but then I thought, why bother with toilets? Our ancestors lived without one for a million years, who says we need a toilet? In fact, I don’t think we are adapted for the toilets.

I think as humans we are all hardwired to want to piss and shit whenever we want, at anytime, in any place. I’ll say it again; forced rentention of body waste is the most overlooked form of child maltreatment becauses it causes serious health risks and violates human rights. Denying children to the toilets and delay or prevent them from excrementing when they want to can have serious effects on their mental, physical and psychological states. e aren’t programmed to hold in and ‘oppress’ our desires to shit and piss, and by doing so, we are going against our nature and destroying our health, our souls, bodies, and mind.

Instead of taking full control over our lives, desires, and bodies, we simply hold things in and surpress our wishes, and that makes us sad, lonely, and very, very pissed. Deep down inside, we all enjoy the warm squishy contents and feelings of our feces, and we all wish that we can give more meaning, value and respect to our own bodily waste material.

My ideal world is a world with no toilets.

Human beings produce 12,000 pounds of bodily waste products every single second, while factory farm animals produce an astounding 250,000 pounds. It’s time we get smart and be more organized with our bodily wastes by recycling and converting it into other resources for economical and enviornmental reasons and purposes.

It’s time to give our poop and pee a second chance.

It’s time to exercise our free will and eliminate our body waste whenever and wherever we want to.

Freud said all he had to say about anal stage and taking control of ourselves and how toilets and holding it in mess us up. But he didn’t tell us what we should do.

Here are my three solutions/therapies:

Feed our waste products to ourselves.
Feed it to our cars.
Feed it to hammerhead sharks.

1. Feeding our bodily waste to ourselves (becoming closer to yourself).

I hate eating as much as I hate shitting it out. I wish I never have to eat because eating, like excreting, takes too much time, rules, efforts, and thought.

I always wonder why people don’t just stick a plastic tube up their asses or their urethra or on their penises and connect it to their esophagus so they can just keep recycling their food and drinks and not have to worry about going to the bathroom or running out of food. They can even come in different flavors and colors like strawberry vanilla in pink and chocolate mint in baby blue.

2. Feeding our waste material to our vehicles (becoming closer to the machines).

I wish we could upgrade our vehicles so that they could be fued up by human or animal waste products. If not, we could always genetically mutate our own bodies, especially our digestive systems, so that we shit and piss out oil and whatever chemicals that our cars need to run. The third option is to upgrade both our bodies and our cars. But whichever way, we should create a new symbiotic relationship between our vehicles and our bodies and souls.

If the plan works like it does in my imaginery world, in the future we would all be defecating into each others’ vehicles while utilizing parked cars on the streets as public restrooms.

One could simply fill up his car with bodily products by lifting up the cap and urinate and excretement in the tank through the gas tank door. We could also modify our car seats by digging a hole in them or build plastic tubes that stick up and connect to our genitals or asses so we could pump up our cars while driving at the same time.

This way, we wouldn’t need to worry about running out of gas or holding our piss during long road trips, not to mention the large amount of gas money we would be saving.

3. Feed our excrement to the sharks (becoming closer to the animals).

Humans have always hated sharks because we misunderstand them and think that they are dangerous. As a result, we hunt and kill so many sharks that a lot of species are becoming extinct. It’s time to end this long term rivary and save these creatures by building a mutual symbiotic relationship between sharks and humans.

We should feed our waste products to hammerhead sharks.

But these are not your everyday fish, because I’m talking about specially engineered, genetically mutated hammerhead sharks that consume and forage on human waste products by traveling and crawling on dry land with their fins.

And instead of being super sensitive to blood like normal sharks, these mutated sharks would have a keen ability to smell bodily products from as far as thousands of miles away.

On top of that, their digestive systems are designed to digest, break down, and recycle human wastes so they piss out and defecat fresh H2O for us to drink and to use.

It would be great for us to keep them as pets because they would make the most useful creatures on the planet. We can have access to water, pee and shit at any time in any space we want.

But if for some reason you are uncomfortable with the idea of ‘free defecating’ and still prefer to use a toilet, all you need to do is pop your fingers and wiggle your tongue to summon up these hungry, mutated, feces yawning sharks, and they would come crawling up to your knees with their big jaws wide opened in a matter of seconds.

Just think of them as breathing, walking toilets and sit on their heads and directly urinate or excrete into their mouths. Afterward you finish, they can even provide hygiene services by spraying water on your butt hole and licking it clean with their tongues. It’s like one of those high tech, water spraying toilets, but only better and more organic.

They may also work as moving drinking fountain and water facet. Anytime you are thirsty or feel like you need a shower, you can simply pick up one of these creatures crawling and lying around, put your mouth around its genitals and suck on it and boom! There comes your water.

With the genetically mutated poop-eating hammerhead sharks taking over the world and roaming the globe; crawling, breeding, and foraging on poop and drinking piss and supplying water in the streets, cleaning up our mess around cities and suburban areas, in public buildings and houses, you would never have to pay your monthly water bills, buy water bottles or paper towels, you would never go thirsty.

We would never have to wipe our own asses or toilet-train your children ever again. We wouldn’t need to build any more water fountains or public rest rooms. We can pee and poop and drink water anywhere and anytime we want. No more toilets. No more problems. They come in all sizes too, so babies can use baby sharks, and fat people can sit on the big fish.

With the above strategies involving freely defecating, eliminating, digesting, preserving, and recycling solid, semisolid or liquid waste material, we could solve some of the biggest global enviornmental and economic crisis facing the world today.

My projects could potentially conserve freshwater supplies, lower greenhouse gases, reduce global warming, end starvation, cure depression and anxiety attacks, stop maltreatment of children, protect near-extinct species, save trees in the rainforests, create mutual symboitic relationship between humans and the machines we build, our animals, the ecosystems, and most importantly, among ourselves.

I could see my projected future of the world already, and it’s promising and delightful to say the least:

Mutated hammerhead sharks crawling around, cleaning the streets with me and women from all walks of life sitting on their heads and pooping and peeing into their mouths, drinking water out of their penises, people fueling up their gas tanks by defecating into the gas tanks while walking around with plastic tubes connected from their asses to their mouths and everyone is happy.