saw this old and withered Chinese lady today while I was eating dim-sum. She was tiny. Probably no bigger than her grandchildren who were about 10 or 11 years old. For the rest of the meal, I kept on thinking how funny it would be if some fucked up evolutionary adaptation makes us shrink and go backwards in size once you grow older.

Say if you are 70, you would be as small as a 10 year old, if you are 80, you would be as small as a 3 year old, and if you get to live as long as my soon to be 99 year old Grandpa, you would be at a size of an infant. And when are about to die, you will literally wither away and become so tiny that your relatives won’t need to worry about finding a space to bury you. This will save the earth precious space since we are running out of it to bury the dead. Not just because the population is increasing, but because we eat so much processed food that our remains become mummified and difficult to decompose.

Imagine all the old folks in this world are as tiny as little children or babies or midgets. (Except they wouldn’t look non-proportioned like midgets or infants; all their body parts would be proportional, except smaller). And while visiting the nursing home all you see are tiny old people walking around crippled, napping or dead on the floor. You can breast feed your aged parents along with your baby by allowing each of them suckle on each breast; your right nipple for your old man and your left nipple for your son. You can cradle your aged parents in your arms, change their diapers, put them next to your newborns in strollers or car seats, and make them hold hands during family picnics (Those could also make good sculpture pieces). It’s the ultimate way to bring the family together in a full circle.

This sort of makes sense if you conceptualize it metaphorically. As people age, they become more and more childlike in dependencies. It’s the yin-yang cycle complementing and completing itself: Parents care of and provide for their offspring. Children in turn honor and obey their parents.

I wouldn’t mind taking care of my parents when they get old if they are tiny and cute like babies. It would save a lot of trouble and space. Or else I will probably end up locking my parents in an old Dungeon when they are old and just feed them dry bread crusts and grey water through a tiny hole and spray them with the garden hose once a week and bury them in my backyard with a used shovel when they die.