B: i kind of wish I have split screen vision.  Like those movies where the frame is divided by half.

B: Maybe after I get married I’ll have a split-screen interlude with my wife:  To the left of the frame would be our own point of views and perspectives, and the other half of the screen would be the other person’s point of view.  That way we can easily become one and would never cheat on each other.

A: You would drive each other crazy.


A: I didn’t get your text.  What’s wrong with your phone?

B: I dunno, whenever I send a text message, it doesn’t arrive until the next day.

A: Maybe it got hungry while traveling in cyberspace and it stopped to get a cup of noodles.  Or maybe it found itself a naked text message and decided to hook up with it. 

A: Do you have a tattoo?
B: Yeah, I do. But it’s not on my body right now.
A: WTF, then where is it?
B: It jumped out of my body onto somebody else’s skin. A stranger’s.
B: You see, me and my tattoo got into an argument. It was a tattoo of myself on my left hamstring. One day we passed by a tattoo shop and it started screaming at me, saying how it wanted a tattoo of itself on its left hamstring as well. I said no because I already knew what was going to happen. That new tattoo on my tattoo is going to want another tattoo on its hamstring and THAT tattoo is going to want yet another tattoo of itself on its hamstring until an infinite regress occurs and each tattoo of itself gets smaller and smaller until it gets microscopic, and even atomic in size and you would need special instrument just to see them.
A: And that’s why it found itself a new owner?
B: Yap. It swerves around on my body for a while to get my attention but it didn’t work. So it jumped out of my skin onto a total stranger.

B: I heard you went up to a girl during a party and asked her if you could shit on her chest.
A: Yeah, I really did say that.
B: Why didn’t you just ask her if you could slice her stomach open and shit inside her large intestines so that she could poop out your shit? It’s sort of like thinking with another person’s brain, only better.

A: My ideal date would be to spend the entire date discussing, arguing, debating, and talking about where to go and what to do on this date.  And once we figured out where to go and what to do, the date will be terminated.  This way, our bodies will always be incomplete while our minds hover in the state of indeterminacy and of becoming, where potentiality of the virtual triumphs over the actuality of the real.


A: I keep a journal and try to record what I do and think about everyday. I like to reflect back on things and to feel nostalgic.  But I got lazy and stopped writing a couple of months ago.  I wish my memories and thoughts and the things I’ve done could be documented automatically and be stored in a drawer that extends and flies out of my stomach.  A drawer that contains folders that document everything I’ve ever said, done or thought about doing.  Whenever I want to reflect on my life or recollect a past memory, all I have to do is casually pull a folder out of this drawer to read it.  The older I get, the longer the drawer becomes because the more thoughts I would have, the more people I would know, and the more things I would have done.  When I am 80 years old, this drawer could be as long as hundrds of feet long!