I gave Tom Cruise head that lasted for 15 years.And before I could finish he couldn’t hold on to his piss anymore and started pissing in my mouth for another 15 years (so he never got to be famous)There was so much urine that we had to build a raft.I fell asleep on it,wokeup and found out that I was floating in the middle of a yellowish ocean. I was actually inside my dad’s bladder…who had Tom Cruise’s face with a huge grin that was frozen indefinitely.  Of course that Tom Cruise/father hybrid was at the same time receiving head from another version of me. I would have to wait for another 30 years or so before he could piss me out and recycle the whole process over and over again.

My New Video


This video is about psychological projection and defense mechanism, as well as one’s inability to cope with trauma. The main character was abused and abandoned as an infant/child. The heavy and unmovable infant that he comes across is a symbol of dreariness and sense of burden and responsibility (thus the heaviness) he feels towards not just the world but his inability to deal with his traumatic childhood memories that are deep seeded and hard to remove. In other words, the heavy baby is the symbolic representation of his pas and his memories. The public space and the outside world symbolizes a reality (the real) that he has trouble coping, and after he is unable to rescue the baby (his own childhood); he goes “home” — his private and fantasy realm (the symbolic) where he is able to retreat in order to attempt to resolve his inner and outer conflicts and neurosis by leaving the reality principles behind to fulfill his repressed wishes and instinctual desires.

In his fantasy world he acts out on his family members as he psychologically projects his anger and frustration onto them both consciously and unconsciously to try to overcome his neurosis by finding outlets to express his instinctual wishes to kill the father. He projects his own unacknowledged and unacceptable/unwanted thoughts and emotions to others in order to play the dominant force to protect the ego. Thus he sees his own family members, who might have been the source and cause of his anxiety and childhood trauma as the perfect revenge target and outlet. (In Freudian theory, the father is always the primal source of all jealousy and anxiety, as he often gets in the way of allowing the child to be with the mother).

The main character thinks he is able to freely act out his violent impulses and anxiety upon his family members as the stronger element. But the whole process of defense through projection proves to be inadequate, as he is unable to kill his father, nor is he able to receive the attention he always desires and wishes to have from him. His father feels nothing when he is stabbed and does not even seem to notice his very own presence. His targets of projection and revenge are unable to be penetrated (literally) because they exist solely in the imaginary and the symbolic realm as linguistic and representational elements.

Because of the inability to cope within the reality principles, the main character is forced to retrieve back to the fantasy world where he is once again the negated, neglected, and the unwanted “baby” that he always is and will always be (unless of course, if he “grows up” by overcoming the dreariness of his infantile memories). The inability to cope with his anxiety in the Symbolic pushes and ejects him back into the real. Without symbolical and representational elements that served as protections, his ego is negated and exposed fully and vulnerably to the nothingness of the real, as he breaks down and sobs like the baby he is unable to save and grow out of.