We try to change the world, and when we can’t we try to change ourselves (often times emotionally). That’s why being emotional can be sort of a cop out, a cheap way out of situations. When emotions are driven to maximum degrees, we even faint – to cut ourselves from the world completely to become totally unconscious so that we don’t have to deal with our problems.

 

To take pictures of the world is to collect it.

 

Because of its tendency to “fix” the flow of time and space,taking pictures is a way for me to imprison and tame reality…It is to carve out little pieces of the world and make them yours, like putting a wild beast on a leash to try to make it your pet. I do this one piece at a time to (try to) eventually possess the whole world. But since any object can be photographed in infinite possible ways, this desire is ultimately insatiable.

 


The Complete Life

I think it’s a mistake to view death as being nearer than yesterday as if we are given a quota called “life”.  Most people view life as this substance that we “use up” with time as we age, and each day that passes by, we use up more of this life-stuff and move closer to death.  It’s also interesting to note that people seem to always have a notion of an “entitled generalized lifespan”.  Meaning that most people think they somehow have a sort of a right to live to a certain age, and that if they do not reach that self-proclaimed age, they consider their lives to be incomplete.  For instance, most people would consider somebody’s life to be more “complete” if he gets to live to be 90 than say, somebody who died at the age of 30.  The person who died at 90 lived a more complete life because he filled up more of his life bucket, where the 30 year old lived a less “complete” life because he didn’t use up his expected life quotas like he should have. 

But a person does NOT have a life quota to begin with.  We are not like prisoners who are waiting for execution, with the date and time of death written down already.  People of course, live for a certain number of days.  But since the exact date of your death is unknown, it is illogical to think that we are moving closer to death with each passing day.  The date of your death is always in constant state of flux.  Everything that you do, and everything that happens to you through out life pushes or pulls that date further or closer from you.  If you spend the next week fucking prostitutes without a condom and eating McDonald’s every meal, then you are probably pulling that date closer to you, than say, if you spend that week sitting at home, eating vegetables and carrots.  Likewise, if you have a high fever now, death is probably closer to you now than after your recovery.  Even a condemned prisoner who is expected to be executed tomorrow can suddenly die of an accidental death today.  So, a person does not experience finite as such, and he does not experience himself as progressing towards nothingness.  Death is an unknown element that is always up for grasps, and what we do with our lives are merely means to play around with that date,  tossing it around, making it closer or further away from you.

Since the date of our death isn’t set in stone, we really don’t have any idea how old we are, or how complete our lives are.   It is only with a fixed date of death as a frame of reference that we determine how “old” we really are.  And like I mentioned before, that time of reference is usually the life expectancy of a given time period (it’s 70 now, so if we live to be 70 you died of old age, and had a complete life).  But such a proclaimed life expectancy is more or less an illusion because each organism has only, as its time of reference, ALL THE TIME IT HAS EVER KNOWN.  So everybody’s life is ALWAYS the fullest at a given moment because we are always, at THIS particular moment, the oldest we’ve ever been.  So there really isn’t such a thing as an “incomplete” life, since every life is always at its fullest. 

It’s weird to think that, as people are living longer, their attention spans are getting shorter.(It used to be the opposite) It’s somewhat ironic that people want to live to be 500 (or forever), when they can’t even sit through a 10 minute youtube video or listen to songs that last more than 3 minutes. How does this change our relationship with time and how we conceive it? Does this make life even more unbearable?

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