Last night’s lucid dreams:1.the whole of NY City was flooded. I did sprints on the water like Jesus while skipping over dead bodies for plyometrics. 2.The earth was so overpopulated that I had no place to defecate. So I started digging a hole on the ground with my teeth and fingers.I dug deeper and deeper until I reached the core of earth, took a dump in there,covered it up like a cat,and flew out like an eagle.


I wish the person who came up with the theory of evolution was a sassy black girl.


Tell me why everytime I have sex with a girl,

my shit smells exactly like her the next morning.

My favorite thing to do is to take a sleeping pill and wrap myself up in my blanket and then turn off all the lights in the living room and then sit as close to the TV as possible before my head spins in circles to watch some mind-fuck movies.  I do this to prime my mind for dreams, and it works because every time I do this I get crazy lucid dreams.  I wish there were sleeping pills that also give you dreams.  And you know how dreams are like movies; with different genres. I wish there were pills for sex dreams (porn), love dreams (romantics) nightmares (horrors), and funny dreams (comedy).   

Also, I only sleep on my sofa, and never on my king sized bed because I feel pressured to sleep on a bed at night.  Since the function of a “bed “is, by default and definition, something to “sleep” on, I feel the pressure that I MUST fall asleep on this object when I lay on it.  And because of the pressure to conform and to fulfill the functionality of a “bed”, I end up thinking too much about not letting down my bed if I couldn’t fall asleep, as well as other social rules that I usually end up having insomnia for the night.  This is why I only sleep on the sofa…since the functionality of a “sofa” isn’t necessary for”sleeping”, I feel less of a pressure and obligation to conform and to fulfill.   There are more rooms for freedom of actions and thoughts when I lay on my sofa, and because of this expanded space of possibilities and potentialities, I am able to convince myself that I DON’T have to fall asleep…and when I do that, I fall asleep like a pig.