1.Sometimes when I’m hungry, I look at my plate and imagine that the foods in there have the same breadth of desire as I do,that they have appetitive consciousness as well. Not the desire to consume,but the desire to be consumed. Just as sex feels much more pleasurable when you know the other party is reciprocating your desires and wants it as much as you do,food tastes much better to me when it wants badly to be eaten.

2. I only want to be in relationships with people who conform to my expectations of myself so that I can fit them in pre-casted molds of how I want to be valued and seen by others in order to validate my own esteemed ego. When I look for a friend/gf, I have a checklist of all the things I look for in them. But what I’m really doing is dialectically looking for that other who I can be the other that I want to be.

3. I just had an idea:What if,instead of sitting down with popcorn in your hands while you watch a film in the movie theater to get fat,you replace those rows of seats with rows of treadmills and stationary bikes?Would u actually go to such a theater to lose weight/watch films?It would “force” people to walk/run/bike for 90 mins without feeling bored or tired,since they could be enjoying the film at the same time.

4. When (IF) I get married, I want to shave my wife’s head right before she walks down the isle, and then balance a fried egg on her bald head while she walks down isle. If the egg shall fall, I would not marry her. This will show the world that I love her, and that she loves me back.

5. Yesterday I gave a hobo guy some money and a movie ticket so he could watch Scream 4 for me because I was too scared to watch it myself. Afterwards I blind-folded myself while he whispered the entire plot to my ear. It was the best movie I’ve ever seen in my life.