Question : Frank, what do you do when you feel down, depressed, and uncertain about the future?

Answer : Well, I go about this in 3 ways.

1. I override my current shit by piling up bigger shit on top of it. For instance:

I read novels with fucked endings so I can get into, and hopefully hide inside the minds of people that not only never existed, but die. I stick my hands in garbage cans from the hospitals and then smell it, draw still-life from roadkill, or look at images of cancer tumors, gingivitis or premature and deformed fetuses. I go to AIDS forums and read posts from dying patients or first person accounts of prison rapes and then leave negative comments. I visit slaughterhouses and orphanages. I memorize steps and instructions to anything from bomb making to self-abortion techniques. And then I wrap things up by contemplating the size of the universe, my insignificant place in it, and its eventual descent into nothingness. Then I pick up the phone and call my mom and tell her all about it. If that doesn’t make me cry then I go to the gym and lift with bad form to induce more pain.

2. I spray perfume on my shit:

I watch videos clips of game winning shots, medal ceremonies or award speeches in the Olympic games and Academy Awards, flowers booming at 1000x speed, or movies where protagonist gets the chick without any conflicts. I take pictures of infants in close-ups and paint rainbows that have 20 colors. I read blogs from newly baptized Christians or dairies from people who won the lottery and click the likes buttons. I visit kindergartens and pet stores. I make imaginary 3D birthday cards and cupcakes or copy and paste wedding planning lists. And then I wrap things up by imagining myself looking at the Earth from the moon to feel inspired by its aesthetics. Then I call my dad and tell him all about what I did. If that doesn’t make me cry then I go to the gym, lift with perfect form, and then walk on the treadmill.

3. I do everything in 1 and then immediately follow through with 2 (or vice versa).