Facebook statuses from last year….sorry if re-post.
– I know why couples close their eyes when they kiss. Because the other person is too ugly… or they just can’t face the truth… that people are disgusting when examined and scrutinized in such close distance.
All the pimples…wrinkles…eye boogers, pores…
– i wish I live in a world where when a girl gets aroused their vagina turn inside out and forms a penis like organ, and when a man gets exited his penis shrinks and eventually inverses into a vagina-like dent. Then they make love.
The bigger the penis, the deeper the dent. So BBCs probably have such deep holes that they connect with the anus, form a complete opening.
I would like to peak through this hole and watch TV
– my poop can be so deceptive sometimes…
I thought I was holding a lot of it in because I felt like I was about to burst. But then it was just a medium sized poop-ball that was on the verge of coming out.. stuck on the tip of my anus, giving illusion of fullness and rupture.
When I violently thrust out that stubborn little piece of crap, expecting more solid to follow…only to find nothing underneath what could only be described as a wine cork!!
Nothing but air, that is.
After a long fart, I thought I was done, but NO it was not done with me! it had deceived me once more.
Following the emptiness, stream of diarrhea oozed out and finally came to a halt, much like the end of a scene in a film, fading to blackness.
To sum up, my poop invaded my consciousness in all 3 forms.
Solid, gas, and liquid.
The entire session took only 20 seconds, but sounded like this. in 3 segments.
1.BAH! (.1 second)
2. SWHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ (13 seconds)
3SPLASHHHHHHHHHH (6.9 seconds)
– True story.:
I went to see Looper, and because I didn’t want to miss any of the movie, I pissed in the Gatorade bottle that I brought and already emptied. After the movie I was thirsty so I drank the bottle… I didn’t realize it was my urine until my gf told me it was BECAUSE IT TASTED JUST LIKE GATORADE>!
– very time some asian person from the older generation, or non-athletes tell me that I eat too many eggs a day, and they are bad for my health, I tell them that even though I run into chances of ODing on eggs everyday, they make me euphoric, energetic, talkative, and mentally alert, especially to the sensations of sight, sound, and touch to the point of altered consciousness and perception of reality…which is why it is the most addictive substance on the planet. Fortunately they are very cheap and they are legal
– it sucks having uncircumcised penis ! After I pee, the overextended foreskin closes up and the last few drips of my urine get trapped in there until they dry up.
When I get head, it opens sesame. and it’s like tehre’s a tiny little public bathroom all condensed and rolled up inside. That’s exactly what it smellss like!
Sometimes when you twitch a little bit immediately after u pee, when you already put your penis back inside your pants and zipped up, the skin and folds opens up and the drops roll out and stain my undies !
– want to see the insides of your body? – inside your skull, inside your intestines, stomach, kidney, rip cage, heart, and etc? Just close your eyes and you are in it. It looks like that everywhere.
– I walked in on my mom’s Jewish boyfriend naked. He asked me if I think my penis was bigger than his. I said, I don’t know, ask mom.
When we did ask her, she said that my little brother’s was the biggest. (i hope my dad doesn’t read this)
– I came to my computer to try to watch porn, but it turned out that the batteries in my mouse were missing because my girlfriend took them and inserted them into her vibrator. FUCK
– Death always lingers at the back of my mind, for I think about it when I do anything and everything. It haunts me, like a double edged sword. I’m always fighting with myself between whether to give up because i’m going to die anyway, or keep going because Im going to die anyway. It’s a constant battle between death and death, evil and evil
-Are women like cars? I don’t think so. I wish they were though, then they would have vaginas on their obliques. That would really make “fucking sideway” literally, a reality.
And you know how sometimes on a rental car (or even your own if you are really stoned), you forget which side of the car has the gas lid?
Imagine that happening when you try to fuck someone (your wife, if you are really stoned)…reaching for one side of the body only to find out that the hot steam was coming out from the other side of the body…
– I’m thinking about parts vs whole and I don’t like it because I get too obsessed over their relationships.
It’s true that you can like a part of a person’s body and spread that love over to the entire Whole of a person.
For instance, it’s not rare that you want to fuck the glutes or the cock first then extend that objectification to the whole being of the opposite sex, including his or her subjectivity and personality.
Chop off the ass and the cock and you chop off everything but not vice versa (I hate this because it makes me question true love).
See, I used to only like the shoes. If you have cool shoes, you had my respect. Then I went through a brief period of obsession with calves. And by the time I was obsessing over calves AND shoes, I couldn’t decide whether to buy Jordans or do calve raises because doing calve raises WITH new air Jordans just seemed too overwhelming.
Dividing up bodies is easier than dividing up brains though.
When you start thinking about which part(s) of a person’s brain you are digging, then things really start to get complicated.
Could you tell your partner that you only like her right brain ? But if you fall in love with her Corpus Callosum then that should solve the problem because you are forced to like her for her right AND left brain (or are you only falling in love with the result of the right-left connection, but the 2 parts by themselves?)
Recently I’ve moved up to dividing up the mind.
I fell in love with my Id, and hated my super ego.
I’ve been trying to obsess over the Ego instead so my Super Ego and Id can have sex. But when that happens, something else will be born and I am scared that I’ll lose my whole mind.
What are your experiences with obsessing over parts?
seduce. Seduction is one huge mindfuck. So big that it blows open the vagina.If you really break down the concept of “mindfucking”, what’s really happening when you got ‘mindfucked’ is that your brainwaves undergo a change to allow you to be in an altered state of consciousness. And playing with the brain, testing out its potential by altering mind states to accomplish different goals and solve different problems is essential to our survival, and probably how our brains got bigger.
Terrence McKenna even pushed it as far as saying that mushrooms, peyotes and weed (ingesting them can result in the BIGGEST mindfucks known to mankind) were standards in the diet of early humans because they allowed us to perceive our environments and thought about things differently.Anything from drinking to partying, to playing video games, to going on a roller coaster ride, watching movies, going to concerts, falling in love, orgasming, taking drugs, running, watching football ARE ALL MEANS OF ACHIEVING ALTERED STATES.
Some states however, are more ‘significant’ than others.According to the English philosopher John Stuart Mill, he distinguishes between the lower and the higher forms of pleasure.I think what he is really saying is that there are better or worse ways to mind-fuck yourself and others. What are some higher and lower ways that you alter your consciousness? For instance, High: A concert pianist entering into a state of ecstasy and getting a huge kick out of humping his keyboard while the audience, lovers of classical music, are moved to tears. Medium: Going to art-house theater and genuinely enjoying the experience.Low: Watching porn and fapping. Afterwards getting drunk at the club and dancing to Beyonce.
(I had a lucid dream about Kai Green. It had something to do with me ripping off his muscles and re-sewing them up to make a blanket because I was really cold in my room).
So this morning when I was practicing the Bach Charconne, the image of the dream got stuck in my head. As I played, I formed this narrative that really helped me dug deeper into the music with emotion:
It was 2026 and I was banned from Youtube and found myself in Alaska in the middle of an ice storm.
I got down on all four and sniffed around the area to inspect safety, and suddenly I smelled professional bodybuilders lurking around; behind bushes or hiding beneath the snow as they tried to hunt down smaller gymrats whose natty status were unknown or questionable.
The overflowing smell of testosterone and steroids was unbearable to my artistic senses.
Soon I saw Kai Greene fucking a grapefruit behind a rock. Like other bodybuilders, he was a loner.
I snuck up to him and strangled him from behind with my bear hands. Then, like in my dream, I ripped his muscles to pieces and reconfigured them into a suit.
I put it on and started jogging for my morning cardio.
As I was running on that IF, I wasn’t fearful at all for the other bodybuilders because:
1. I was natural.
2. My suit was so perfect that there was no way they could tell I was not Kai Greene. They were bodybuilders after all, and their perceptions were limited.
I thought to myself; this must be what those hunters felt like when they put on bear skins after they killed some and disguised themselves amongst real ones. Deception was brutally sweet!
I made friends with Ronnie Coleman, Jay Cutler, Phil Heath, and Arnold as they were preparing a meal and dancing around the wildfire, laughing in really high pitches like the Hyenas from Lion King.
But when I looked closer, the cries were actually coming from Zyzz and Matt Ogus as they were both tied to a humongous BBC that probably belonged to a whale, hanging upside down!
I immediately thought to film this scene and upload it to my Youtube channel for more subs, but then I realized that my account was taken down 😦
Me and the bodybuilders held hands together as we chopped their flesh into pieces.
Arnold had the smallest mouth because he was the only white guy so we fed him left over crumbs. He wasn’t happy, but there wasn’t nothing he could do because he was the only white guy. But he said it was alright because he used his visualization skills and imagined the crumbs to be as tall and big as mountains, so we all felt better and pat him on the face.
Their meat was delicious! Ogus’s tasted better because he really was natty after all! But Phil told me it was because he drank a lot of cum when he posed for fags, so that was what made his meat so juicy and slimy.
I wasn’t so sure about that. I looked at Ronnie, he nodded. Then Ronnie looked back at Phil, he nodded too.
The other guys felt bad and gave me the most precious piece of meat of all: Zyzz’s right pec that had the infamous “Veni Vidi Vici” tat because they all thought I should have won Mr. Olympia in 2012, 2013, and 2014.
Afterwards I showed everyone how to snort creatine and told them it would expand their consciousness because I’m Kai Green, I’m all about the mind!
During the high all the bodybuilders cuddled up and felt connected to the universe. At the come down they finally came to their sense through their subconscious and confessed that they weren’t on steroids after all, and that eating the internet bodybuilders was the sole reason why and how they got so big.
They said they were coming after Frank Yang next.
I finished my Bach.
-I think stars like Beiber and Nicki Manaja have talents. Their talent is not music or art, but the ability to perform and entertain the lowest common denominator and figuring out what it is, no matter how “stupid” it seems, that most people like.
it’s one thing to know how to sing and dance and write songs, it’s also quite another to carry themselves in public and craft a certain charismatic persona to please the targeted audience.
What they are doing are actually more in line with what actors or stage/circus performers are doing. If you can look beyond this, then maybe Beiber isn’t too bad after all. I mean if I was as famous as he is I would probably go insane. Memorizing dance moves, even lip synching to these so called “terrible songs” day in and day out in front of tens and thousands of people is actually quite difficult.
-I just realized that if you chew a big handful of peanuts for a long time, and then add some water in your mouth and spit it on a piece of bread and give it to your friend, he might think it’s real peanut butter. Because it IS real!
– Oh man I was masturbating and ejeculated so far it hit my face. I didn’t realize this because there was only one drop, and after a a few minutes I thought a fly landed on my face so I slapped it real hard and realized it was actually (cold) cum…smeared it all over my face.
– While not everyone can travel to the outer space and be a astronaut, everyone can be a psychonaut (yes even without the aid of drugs) and explore the depth of the inner space.
– I want to still be alive in the year 2100 when people can make films and Youtube videos just by thinking them with their minds.
You can literally go into a room in a meditative state and then BOOM! a few hours later you can come out of it with a film in your hand, or a Youtube video automatically uploaded to your channel.
By then the Youtube bodybuilding community would be very different because you won’t actually have to lift at all to be perceived as gods.
You can imagine yourself working out and getting bigger and more shredded, if your mind is refined and aesthetic enough, the videos will be so real that the audience will have trouble telling apart the real bodybuilders vs the imagined ones. The new Zyzz could literally still be a skinny nerd sitting behind the computer with jizz on his pants.
By then, people won’t discuss whether someone is natty or not. But rather if a particular Youtuber is imagined or “real life”.