I had a feverish nightmare last night that bordered delirium because I was sick. My mind, or my state of being was ‘stuck’ unless I take selfies and upload it to instagram. In fact, this process had become the workings of my consciousness entirely and I must take pictures and upload them constantly if I was to ‘move forward’ in time and continue to form thoughts. I woke up and took those pictures and spammed them on my newly found instagram account:


I have a fever. It’s the first time in 5 years that I’ve gotten sick.
When you are healthy, you take that state for granted. You really don’t know how good it feels to not be sick until you are sick. When you are sick, being healthy is the most euphoric state of being you can imagine. Advil, a seemingly insignificant pain and fever reducer that temporarily brings you back to normal state of health is suddenly more powerful than Molly or coke. Dat relative state of being.



I’ve been thinking about acting and actors’ consciousness and their specialized form of intelligence. Acting is the ultimate play of mind over body. The hard part about acting is to transform his consciousness and re-create his mind to become another while utilizing the same body to give rise to that particulate mental state. The actor will need to house many different minds in the same body, and it must give in completely to a totally different state of mind each time he switches roles. The more complete this mind-body transformation (the less he holds on to his original state of mind), the more real and convincing the performance will be. A performance is unnatural or awkward when one mind interferes and come into conflict with another.

Actors have a certain sense of pre-linguistic, pre-conceptual intelligence that cannot be measured with IQ points. Acting utilizes a sort of intuition or imagination that is not grounded in knowledge, logic, or intellectual-type thinking – which can make the mind ‘bulky’…and unable to be reflexive or flow ‘in the moment’ of constant becomings.

If you read interviews with actors, even the best ones don’t appear to be that ‘deep’ or intellectual. But that’s what makes them good. They need to be in a Zen, or meditative like state of mind – an empty vessel that is able to transform into anything and anyone. This ’no mind’ state has a lot of potential for creativity and transformation. In fact, the more an actor can become ‘mindless’, the more potential and range he has to become somebody else entirely.


On ‘being deep’

I was hanging out with Luke Eilers yesterday at Venice beach. We were having some pretty deep conversation in regards to consciousness and dreams. The conversation turned to Zyzz and I asked him if he thought Zyzz was deep. He thought about it and said that he was “very deep…in aesthetics”.

I think one can be deep about anything, even if the chosen endeavor seems trivial or superficial. One example is the movie American Psycho, which I re-watched again yesterday. Christian Bale obviously lacked ‘depth’, as he even described how he had nothing underneath the surface of his skin. But he went on the deep end with status and money and went crazy. Other examples are porn stars, drug addicts, female bodybuilders, cannibals…(it’s true that we are all fascinated by these people).

So in a way, I have respect for anyone who goes deep because being there ultimately requires an extreme state of consciousness that borders in insanity, which results in the individual becoming marginalized either within himself or society.

What’s something that you are deep into (but might not appear to be ‘deep’ from the usual perspective?)


sluts are good to fuck because they (presumably) are all body, no minds. This makes the sex much better because the friction between flesh/body is stronger without the indeterminacy of consciousness getting in the way. Having sex with girls who have brains is like sticking your penis in thought bubbles filled with formal language and mathematical equations.


I really like Los Angeles and it’s depth of superficiality. The way I personally feel about it is that it is a simulation that is based on nothingness – a copy of something that doesn’t actually exist, where the abstract and the concrete is one and the same.

It’s a place that produces the image that the rest of the world copies. The irony is that in order to sustain itself, it has to conform to and re-copy the copies of itself made by the rest of the world (so in a sense the simulation does have a simulated – other simulations).

It is a city of dreams that does not have a reality to contrast itself with or wake up from, so any attempt to know itself is through the birth of another dream, and then another…in an everlasting spiral that spins on a vacuum. This process I think is aesthetic because it is always authentic, even if it is artificially so.


I think the best way to prevent someone from killing himself is to cut his arm off. And the best way to lift someone out of sorrow because of a loss love is to punch him in the face. Why? Because the best or perhaps the only cure for psychological pain is physical pain. When one is in physical pain, his mental content (or discontent), whether it’s pleasure or pain is immediately erased, or put back to neutral. The only thing left are stars that we see when we get knocked out, which is a reminder of the vast emptiness of consciousness during moments of intense pain. Or perhaps it is during these moments when are confronted by consciousness at its purest state.

This partially explains why so many religious ceremonies focus on inflicting pain upon the believers (think also of fasting), and why crucifixion is the centre image of Christianity. Contrary to what most people believe, religious ascetic is not a de-emphasize of the body, but the opposite. The extreme focus on the body to the point of intense pain is perhaps the only way for the mind to make way for forces outside of itself, outside the world.


Thoughts on athletic success and the Imagination.

Having a good imagination is an important key to athletic success. The ability to visualize motor skills and physical actions clearly and distinctively in your mind is essential because when you actually perform and carry out these actions in reality, your neurons are already primed to do so. Kobe and Lebron both meditate, and on top of it visualize alone in the locker room before games.

Kelly Baggett mentioned that most explosive athletes are right brain dominated…(although recent research shows no distinction between left and right brain and that we are constantly using the whole brain, it can still be separated into different domains. Meaning that even if imagination isn’t receded in the right, there is still a difference in how the brain is lighting up when imagining vs. not imagining).

In other words explosive athletes are good visualizers and imaginers who can hold clear images of what they wish to create or become in their minds. They have practiced their movements over and over again in their minds so that their neurons are already firing and connecting before the movements were actualized in reality.

Note on the meathead stereotype: A lot “creatives” or “right brain” thinking people do not really enjoy reading books as much as DOING or CREATING. Kids who turn into athletes or dance aren’t really stupid. They just aren’t interested in words, and could be said to be ‘smart’ in a different way. This reminds me of Ken Robinson’s TED talk about how modern capitalist society values and encourage ‘left brain’ endeavors, and how kids who are smart in ways other than verbalizing and rationalizing have their talents overlooked and suppressed. He then went on to talk about dance and art and music as just important. I would like to add athletics to the list – especially explosive athletics like Olympic weightlifting and sprinting. Yes, I think if the educational system includes weightlifting classes as part of the curriculum, the world would be a better place. Here’s the video: http://www.ted.com/talks/ken_robinson_says_schools_kill_creativity

Baggett also mentions that explosive athletes are often explosive in temper as well, which explains the many on and off court antics and the instability and emotional turmoil some of these great athletes go through in life. Someone commented on Chris Brown’s video on YT, “Chris Brown is so much more talented than PittBull, why does he have to be so violent?” without realizing that maybe his talent and his violent behaviors come from the same source of energy – the overflowing of feels and images that is channeled correctly becomes the virtue, if not, the vice.

I think there are major similarities between making sculptures and jumping. Both endeavors are creative in nature, as both are acts of transferring and materializing what you visualize in your mind into reality. The better you are at generating and manipulating these images in your head, the better your “products” in reality will turn out to be. In sculpture, the products are of course, the sculptures themselves. But in lifting and in jumping or any other types of athletic movements, the product is the body performing the movements primed by the mind.

The main job of our intellect is to plan and devise strategies that are low-risk and effective in order to help us get what we want in life. Might it be fair to say that people who find it ‘hard’ to live life and go by it with constant source of frustration are simply lacking in intellectual capacity (or possess it but fail to use it properly)?.


A person’s personality is usually what he wants to be thought and perceived, not the way it actually is. The social world is nothing more than a huge sphere of presumed personalities.


I don’t delete friends on FB, even people from the past that I don’t talk to anymore because I like looking at pictures as they look older and fatter with each newsfeed update. The rush is exactly the same as looking at your own body transformation photos.